"1 in 3 women worldwide will experience physical or sexual violence in their lifetime, usually from a male partner (WHO)."
Sexual assault is real. I am a victim of sexual assault. Sexual assault does not only include rape. It is any sexual activity, contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent. This includes rape, oral sex, fondling, etc.
I was sexually assaulted on a train by a man who rubbed his elbow into my breast. I was 15 or 16. I was too scared to move. Scared of what? I don't know. I was just scared. And then, I was so ashamed of myself for not moving, that I lied to my friends about it and told them I sat there for only 15-20 minutes, when in actuality, I sat there for the entire hour long ride. This man also assaulted two of my friends in the same way, and tried to assault me again a year later. (I didn't for get his face. I ran off the train when he sat next to me.)
I was sexually harassed by my ex. Sexual harassment includes unwelcome sexual advancements, requests, or other acts that create a hostile environment. I was tentative to call my experience sexual harassment. Firstly because sexual harassment is mainly associated with work environments. Secondly, since we were in a relationship, I brushed it off as being normal. It was fair of him to expect things from me since we were dating, right? Then why did I feel so small when I was with him? Why did we always fight about sex? Why, when we finally had sex, did I just lay there and wait for him to finish? Why did I have nightmares three nights in a row about him raping me after he broke up with me? The truth is, I wasn't raped. But I might as well had been.
I made the mistake of reading the comments, but since I did, I might as well respond to some of them.
- "Women can be cruel and say cruel things too."
- This is true. Nowhere in the video did they say this was false.
- "I told a joke once, now I am a rapist."
- The video mentions jokes about calling girls whores. What kind of joke is that? The name calling is not the rape. The video clearly shows that it is a chain of events. (Plus, calling someone a whore is just plain disrespectful.)
- "Women, don't you find this insulting? Here's a video saying, "You're not smart enough to make your own decisions. You're not strong enough to overcome adversity. Everyone is against you and there isn't a thing you can do about it." How isn't that demeaning you? They're saying that your ability as a freethinking person is less than that of a male's. How does anyone fall for this? It's almost disgusting how offensive it is. They're teaching young girls to blame the world for their problems, not to be a strong person."
- The video actually said none of that: you did.
- "You're not strong enough to overcome adversity." and whose fault is it that this adversity exists? (let me give you a hint: rapists.)
- Two words: Victim blaming. "They're teaching young girls to blame the world for their problems, not to be a strong person." It is not the victim's fault for being raped. Rapists rape. Abusers abuse. Would you blame yourself if you got punched in the face? No. You'd blame the person who's fist it belonged to. (let's not even go into the "they deserved it/they were asking for it" debate).
- I myself have blamed myself for a lot of what has happened to me. I've told myself that it was my own fault for not ending it. It was my fault for not stopping it. For not walking away. For not saying anything. But it wasn't my fault. I wish so badly that I had been stronger. But being stronger would not have stopped the assaulter.
- In many cases, rape victims go into shock. That doesn't make them weak.
I just wish people could take away a simple message from this video:
Sexual assault is real.
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