As if I'd call you on your cell phone

I ain't your hotline bling.  
I recently got this reversible bomber jacket from Local Heroes, and I am in love. It was definitely a splurge for me, but I am obsessed and glad I made the investment. I've been looking for a bomber for a while, particularly one with something sassy or dark/morbid on the back, and this totally fit the bill. I used to have a phone case that said "1-800-YOU-WISH" on it (from Urban Outfitters), and it was one of my favorite outfit details. Being that it was for my old case, it is now unfortunately retired. I found this jacket via my sister (@winscribbles), and I knew it'd be the perfect personality piece for me. 
Also purchased recently is the violet geometric floral dress from Black Milk Clothing. I usually preplan the pieces that I want from Black Milk, since they're so expensive, but this dress was $26 during the Cyber Monday sale, and it is SHINY AF, so I was like YASSSSSSS GIRL. It is gorgeous and the design makes it look super intricate and detailed. 
Lastly, these killer boots! They're not as recent a purchase as the other two, but how could I not talk about them? I purchased these from ASOS, and they're total showstoppers. They're badass and comfortable, which is the best combination. 

Cute ass sass

I just wanted to take a moment to recognize how freaking cute and sassy my goodies from LookHuman are, and they fit my personality so damn well. I bought the iPhone 6 tough case during the Black Friday sale. Honestly, I've never used a good case before. I usually opt for the inexpensive and cute snap cases which really don't do anything for your phone. I am soo impressed with this case and so glad I opted to pay a couple extra dollars for the tough case instead of a snap case. It makes my phone feel heavier, in a good way, and it felt like I was holding a brand new phone. PLUS THERE'S A SHARK WITH A BANNER THAT SAYS "FUCK YOUR SEXIST SHIT." How can I not love it omg. I'm honestly obsessed. 
Oh, and the cat stickers are cute too. I was surprised by how big the sticker sheet was, and I chucked one onto my laptop (it's been a few weeks and hasn't budged yet, and I don't see it doing so anytime soon.) I feel like this cat is a meme or something, but honestly I don't know where it's from. Let me know if you do. 

xox Sharkie


Rape

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dP7OXDWof30

"1 in 3 women worldwide will experience physical or sexual violence in their lifetime, usually from a male partner (WHO)."

Sexual assault is real. I am a victim of sexual assault. Sexual assault does not only include rape. It is any sexual activity, contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent. This includes rape, oral sex, fondling, etc. 


I was sexually assaulted on a train by a man who rubbed his elbow into my breast. I was 15 or 16. I was too scared to move. Scared of what? I don't know. I was just scared. And then, I was so ashamed of myself for not moving, that I lied to my friends about it and told them I sat there for only 15-20 minutes, when in actuality, I sat there for the entire hour long ride. This man also assaulted two of my friends in the same way, and tried to assault me again a year later. (I didn't for get his face. I ran off the train when he sat next to me.) 


I was sexually harassed by my ex. Sexual harassment includes unwelcome sexual advancements, requests, or other acts that create a hostile environment. I was tentative to call my experience sexual harassment. Firstly because sexual harassment is mainly associated with work environments. Secondly, since we were in a relationship, I brushed it off as being normal. It was fair of him to expect things from me since we were dating, right? Then why did I feel so small when I was with him? Why did we always fight about sex? Why, when we finally had sex, did I just lay there and wait for him to finish? Why did I have nightmares three nights in a row about him raping me after he broke up with me? The truth is, I wasn't raped. But I might as well had been. 

I made the mistake of reading the comments, but since I did, I might as well respond to some of them. 

  • "Women can be cruel and say cruel things too." 
    • This is true. Nowhere in the video did they say this was false. 
  • "I told a joke once, now I am a rapist." 
    • The video mentions jokes about calling girls whores. What kind of joke is that? The name calling is not the rape. The video clearly shows that it is a chain of events. (Plus, calling someone a whore is just plain disrespectful.)
  • "Women, don't you find this insulting? Here's a video saying, "You're not smart enough to make your own decisions. You're not strong enough to overcome adversity. Everyone is against you and there isn't a thing you can do about it." How isn't that demeaning you? They're saying that your ability as a freethinking person is less than that of a male's. How does anyone fall for this? It's almost disgusting how offensive it is. They're teaching young girls to blame the world for their problems, not to be a strong person."
    • The video actually said none of that: you did.
    • "You're not strong enough to overcome adversity." and whose fault is it that this adversity exists? (let me give you a hint: rapists.)
    • Two words: Victim blaming. "They're teaching young girls to blame the world for their problems, not to be a strong person." It is not the victim's fault for being raped. Rapists rape. Abusers abuse. Would you blame yourself if you got punched in the face? No. You'd blame the person who's fist it belonged to. (let's not even go into the "they deserved it/they were asking for it" debate).
    • I myself have blamed myself for a lot of what has happened to me. I've told myself that it was my own fault for not ending it. It was my fault for not stopping it. For not walking away. For not saying anything. But it wasn't my fault. I wish so badly that I had been stronger. But being stronger would not have stopped the assaulter. 
    • In many cases, rape victims go into shock. That doesn't make them weak.


I just wish people could take away a simple message from this video: 


Sexual assault is real. 

Blushing Beauty

I've only ever owned two blushes: 
1. the NARS multiple stick in G-Spot, but I mostly used this for my lips
2. The Balm Instain in Pinstripe (which is absolutely gorgeous)
When the Sephora VIB Sale rolled around this November, I decided to splurge in a few high end blushes. 

When I saw everyone raving about the Becca shimmering skin pressed perfecter in Blushed Copper, I was initially wowed and then a bit skeptical. The color looked freaking gorgeous but also super intense, and I couldn't tell if that was good or bad. I also just couldn't decide whether or not blushes were for me, but I definitely wanted to experiment. After all, that's how I got into eyeshadows, mascara, and pretty much anything and everything makeup related. Being a lazy bum who doesn't leave her dorm, I googled swatches instead of actually going to a Sephora and checking out the product myself, like a normal person. 

All in all, the packaging is to die for, and the color is undoubtedly gorgeous, but how would it look on my face? There was only one way to find out: by purchasing it. 

Now, this product is a pretty penny. (heheh get it?) Really though. Retailing at $38, das espensive. But, it was limited edition, and I rationed that if anything, I'd just return it. (even though I knew I probably wouldn't.) 
SO: Was it worth it? I'll be real; probably not. But that's taking into consideration that I'm a broke college student and not a grown up or a make up artist or anything like that (although I'd love to be). All that aside, this is a gorgeous product. However, depending on your skin tone, it may be a bit hard for you to use as a blush. It's SUPER pigmented, which is great, but that also means you've got to be careful when applying it. Also, when I apply it to my cheeks, it becomes a little more orange and a little less "copper," which kind of sucks. This product would be absolutely gorgeous on dark skin tones, and I'm excited to experiment with this as a blush, and maybe also as an eyeshadow and bronzer even. Considering how light handed I will be with this, there is a LOT of product to last a super long time. 


"I'm not gay."

This is a common phrase said in today's society, especially amongst teens.
It's so common, that it's often glanced over. (Like many things.)

So, let's just take a moment and backtrack. What does this phrase even mean? As with any phrase, it depends on the context. Well, "I'm not gay" is often said in a derogatory tone in response to a stereotypically "gay" thing. That was a weird sentence. Basically, people say "I'm not gay" in response to things they think are gay.

Note that the following refers to "you" a lot. "You" isn't anyone specific, it's just someone who says "I'm not gay" in this type of situation. For example, if the following conversation hypothetically went down,
{Person 1:} "Do you like this pink sweater?"
{Person 2:} "Ew, no: I'm not gay!"
Then I'm referring my anger at person 2. (sorry if my example was stupid, I couldn't really think of anything specific, but I think you get the general idea)

My problems with this are:
1. What the hell is wrong with being gay? People try to be open minded, or at least a good number of people do, and they claim they have no problem with different types of sexuality. But when they themselves are the person who may or may not be gay, it's suddenly a huge fucking deal. People are okay with other people being gay, but not with the idea of themselves being gay. Don't get me wrong; it's absolutely fine to be confident in your heterosexuality. But there's no need to be offensive about the idea of being gay. By saying "I'm not gay!" in a negative tone, it's like saying "I'm not gay because that's gross!"
2. No one said you were gay. Literally the only person bringing sexuality into the conversation is you. Even if someone else had brought it up, what is sooo offensive with the possibility of you being gay? Anyone can be of any sexuality. There is no way of telling, which brings me to my third point:
3. You are stereotyping. It's just plain offensive and wrong. I'll just leave it at that.


  • Yea, I'm probably overreacting. But I'm fine with that. I'd rather have something to scream about than have nothing to say. I'd rather make a big deal out of something than not care about anything. 
  • You might say I'm reading too much into this, and honestly, you're probably right. Well, oops. Am I supposed to apologize for that?
  • Why do I get offended so easily? Well, because I'm passionate. And there is nothing wrong with that. 

One weekend, 14 hours

Last weekend I went back to the city, spending a total of 14 hours traveling during the two nights and one day I had there. Insane. 

Pork belly, ribs, and fish w. tofu
I arrived to the city at about 7:30, where Antoine picked me up from the bus terminal and he headed towards Bryant Park to grab dinner. I had an insane craving for szechuan food, and since the closest restaurant to me upstate is an hour and a half drive up north, I knew I had to make the most of my trip to the city by eating as much as I could. (OK maybe I gained a pound or two, but it was so damn worth it.) 

On one day alone (the only full day I had to spend there), I spent (at least) five and a half hours on public transportation. I traveled from Queens to Flushing to Williamsburg to 14 st., to Elmhurst, to the Bronx, to Flushing, and finally back to Queens. 

My first stop was Main St. Flushing, where I bought three bottles of hair dye before jumping on a 7 train. I took the 7 to Court Sq where I got on a Church Av bound G for 3 stops. A ~15 minute walk then landed me in front of Artists and Fleas in Williamsburg. I came here for one thing, and one thing only: (or one person.) KT Ferris. I grabbed two vintage doll eye chokers from her that I've been saving up for for some time now. One with a black velvet band for Joey and one with a gorgeous gold and red band for myself. Joey and I had been thinking about getting matching blinking eye chokers for some time now, and I decided to get her hers as a belated birthday present. Unfortunately, KT herself wasn't there at the time that I went, otherwise I wanted  to have her sign a small "happy birthday" note for my girl. Hopefully Joey doesn't read this before I get the choker to her, but then at least she won't be able to give me crap about not getting her a present yet. Jk love ya Jo. :-P 



Loved how Win's Bloody Mary matched
my outfit. 
Shortly after, I went right back underground, this time taking an L to 14 st. I met my sis (winscribbles) at the Cookshop for brunch. I ordered the french toast with peaches and Winnie got a super yummy eggs/spinach dish with a side of home fries. MMMMMM delicious.
<3 fall lip colors, chokers, and colored hair. 
After eating, we did a little photoshoot near the high line.



I was recovering from a cold and had a cough attack in the middle of the shoot LOL
When we shot enough outfit photos for our liking, we went to artists and fleas in Chelsea Market so I could grab a pair of deer antlers for halloween. I also ended up leaving with a gold lace crown. 
Afterwards, I headed back towards Queens for my endocrinologist appointment (not a fan of my doctor to be honest :/). The appointment was pretty stressful, making me an emotional wreck on an hour long train ride to the Bronx. I met up with my boyfriend to go to his friend's birthday celebration. Honestly, I really didn't want to go. I practically didn't even want to see him. I just wanted to cry in a cafe by myself with a nice cup of tea. (like, I said, I was an emotional wreck). But I'm glad I went. yes, even all the way to the Bronx... Thank you for holding my hand and for loving me, babe. As the party dwindled to an end, my boo took me home via subway, but not before getting Snowdays (which has sentimental value for me, and therefore was one of the best parts of my trip). I got the black sesame, as always, with mochi, strawberries and honey. It was my first time having honey as the glaze instead of caramel or peanut butter, but oh my god, I am so glad I tried it. I'll probably be getting that from now on. My boo got one of their combos, but I forget which one. I believe it was sweet cream, captain crunch (or whatever that cereal is), peanut butter, andddddd I have no idea what that black stuff is. Lol. 

Finally, on Sunday morning, I was headed back to university. My parents drove me back because the bus ticket was insanely expensive. Plus it was a nice time to bond, even though I slept for most of the ride. Still... it felt really homey. Here's my outfit from the ride! 

Town Square Spendings

Hey everyone! Though this will probably only be read by a few people, I hope all is well. :) 

So I'd like to start by apologizing for my inactivity. I really do hope I start blogging more, but sometimes I'm simply too busy being a mess. Lol. 

Anyways, I recently moved out and began my undergraduate career (yay me!). However, my university is kind of in the middle of nowhere. But then I heard someone say that the Walmart nearby is huge, so my friends and I hopped on a city bus and made our way to town square. Little did I know that there was an Ulta (I'll also mention that it's next to a DSW!) in the circle of stores. And so, we did what us girls naturally do; we swatched and shopped all things makeup. I typically don't splurge on random things in a makeup store. (I do spontaneously splurge, but its usually just on one or two things). Rather, the norm for me is to see and swatch items in the store, gather an idea or list of the things I want to buy, and eventually order these things online. As I didn't do that this time, I thought I'd share what I purchased at Ulta. 




 I was so excited to see Benefit's they're Real! mascara in beyond blue. One of my makeup favorites is a bright lash or liner color, especially in my favorite color, blue. I've been using Ciate's lashlights mascara in electric, however, they're not being sold anymore as far as I know, and truth be told, although the color is great, they're at all the best mascara as far as volume and lengthening go. Ciate's lashlights essentially paints color onto the lashes without adding any volume or length at all. Though I have yet to try Benefit's they're Real! in beyond blue, I've used and loved their mascara in rich black. They give great volume and length to my tiny Asian eyelashes, so when I saw it in blue, I grabbed it immediately.  

 
                                                                                     Now this, I'm less excited to talk about. 
First of all, I'll start by saying that I've been using Rimmel London's Scandaleyes in the pen formation for at least a year or two. It's my favorite liquid eyeliner as far as drugstore liners go. When I went to Ulta, they only had the thick & thin form of the eyeliner, but I was running out, so I grabbed it anyways. Big regret. The "brush" is stiff, but also dry, therefore it drags against the skin, which hurts and also doesn't result in a very good look. The formula is hardly black enough for my liking. It lacks pigmentation and requires a lot of force to be applied. This one was simply a no go for me. 



Too Faced is one of my favorite brands, and this the second melted liquified lipstick that I bought. (This one is in the shade melted velvet, and I also have the shade melted fig.) The packaging of these lipsticks are simple, but the gold details are a perfect addition. When I swatched this in the store, it was darker than it was when I swatched it at home. I've been looking to buy a dark red lipstick without too much of a purple undertone, and this seemed to fit the bill when I swatched it in the store. (The first pink streak was accomplished by not squeezing much product of the tube out). I have yet to try this on myself, but I'm hoping it doesn't wear as a very bright red. But even if it doesn't, I have no doubt in my mind that this will be a fantastic color. 


Another lip color that I've been dying to own is a bright purple. I already have two purple lip sticks (both by colourpop), but I can never get enough. I've been borrowing a shade from my sister for a really long time, (it's a Make up Forever lipstick, but I'm not sure what exact shade it is), and I really wanted one of my own. Though there was no Make up Forever section in Ulta, I saw this NYX high voltage purple lip and thought I'd give it a go. 


Float Away


As school ended, I started having more time on my hands to explore the city. After some shopping on a dewy day, (I scored some boots for ~$20 at Nordstrom Rack), my friends and I hit up Brooklyn for some famous soda floats at the Farmacy. 

Diner style straw holders resting on a chess board. (One of many available vintage board games).

(L to R: Root Beer Soda Float, Sundae, & Pink Poodle Soda Float)

     



Outfit: NastyGal moto, UO Ouija muscle tee, AE velvet skirt, Steve Madden boots.
So far, Brooklyn Farmacy & Soda Fountain has been my favorite stop off the F train. These were the best soda floats I've had, though I'll be honest.. I've only had a few in my lifetime. The menu is HUGE which would normally overwhelm me, but I honestly just want to keep going back to try all the flavors. (Which I definitely plan to do.) I had the pink poodle, which I liked because the fruity soda didn't make the ice cream too heavy. Be careful not to order too much though! My group got a soda float per person and a sundae, and we definitely underestimated 1. the size of the sundae, and 2. our available ice cream take for the day. Moving on, another thing to note is the adorable decor. I'm a sucker for vintage things, which was all around the venue, from the fridge to the table settings, and even the Farmacy's history. 

Be Mine


As Valentines Day approached, I made a video encompassing some outfits inspired by the holiday. ♥ 



Bitter Hearts: 

You could say this first outfit is more of an "anti-valentines" day outfit. The way I see it, Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love and relationships, but it's also a day to celebrate being single. So I commemorated my independence and told the boys to dream on and get lost with this shirt from Drop Dead Clothing. 


A White Affair: 
Usually my outfits encompass lots and lots of black. I stepped a little out of my comfort zone and into the territory of my sister's closet. What resulted actually made me feel incredibly empowered, feminine, and just all around good. The white dress gave way to a simple, sophisticated, and pure look. Oh, how I underestimated this color. 






















Choke Me Softly: 
I coordinated this outfit based on my black heart choker, with the goal of toning down its edginess. While the choker adds a little bit of a kinky edge, the pastel floral skirt tones gives the outfit a girly touch.



 

You Blue It: 
A blue themed outfit with a sassy name. The name basically says it all. This one is for the one who won't be spending Valentine's with me. 
Warm Me Up: 
This cutesy outfit is perfect for a coffee date. I wore a bold red lip and toned it down with a salmon pink dress. I'm usually not a huge fan of pink, so I threw on my favorite cardigan to make myself more comfortable. Plus, this soft additive will make your date want to hug you even more. 

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

The Day Of...

Qdoba Smothered for a Smooch Special
Thanks S. For the gummy bears and hand made rose.