"I'm not gay."

This is a common phrase said in today's society, especially amongst teens.
It's so common, that it's often glanced over. (Like many things.)

So, let's just take a moment and backtrack. What does this phrase even mean? As with any phrase, it depends on the context. Well, "I'm not gay" is often said in a derogatory tone in response to a stereotypically "gay" thing. That was a weird sentence. Basically, people say "I'm not gay" in response to things they think are gay.

Note that the following refers to "you" a lot. "You" isn't anyone specific, it's just someone who says "I'm not gay" in this type of situation. For example, if the following conversation hypothetically went down,
{Person 1:} "Do you like this pink sweater?"
{Person 2:} "Ew, no: I'm not gay!"
Then I'm referring my anger at person 2. (sorry if my example was stupid, I couldn't really think of anything specific, but I think you get the general idea)

My problems with this are:
1. What the hell is wrong with being gay? People try to be open minded, or at least a good number of people do, and they claim they have no problem with different types of sexuality. But when they themselves are the person who may or may not be gay, it's suddenly a huge fucking deal. People are okay with other people being gay, but not with the idea of themselves being gay. Don't get me wrong; it's absolutely fine to be confident in your heterosexuality. But there's no need to be offensive about the idea of being gay. By saying "I'm not gay!" in a negative tone, it's like saying "I'm not gay because that's gross!"
2. No one said you were gay. Literally the only person bringing sexuality into the conversation is you. Even if someone else had brought it up, what is sooo offensive with the possibility of you being gay? Anyone can be of any sexuality. There is no way of telling, which brings me to my third point:
3. You are stereotyping. It's just plain offensive and wrong. I'll just leave it at that.

• Yea, I'm probably overreacting. But I'm fine with that. I'd rather have something to scream about than have nothing to say. I'd rather make a big deal out of something than not care about anything. 

• You might say I'm reading too much into this, and honestly, you're probably right. Well, oops. Am I supposed to apologize for that?

• Why do I get offended so easily? Well, because I'm passionate. And there is nothing wrong with that. 

One weekend, 14 hours

Last weekend I went back to the city, spending a total of 14 hours traveling during the two nights and one day I had there. Insane. 

Pork belly, ribs, and fish w. tofu

I arrived to the city at about 7:30, where Antoine picked me up from the bus terminal and he headed towards Bryant Park to grab dinner. I had an insane craving for szechuan food, and since the closest restaurant to me upstate is an hour and a half drive up north, I knew I had to make the most of my trip to the city by eating as much as I could. (OK maybe I gained a pound or two, but it was so damn worth it.) 

On one day alone (the only full day I had to spend there), I spent (at least) five and a half hours on public transportation. I traveled from Queens to Flushing to Williamsburg to 14 st., to Elmhurst, to the Bronx, to Flushing, and finally back to Queens. 

My first stop was Main St. Flushing, where I bought three bottles of hair dye before jumping on a 7 train. I took the 7 to Court Sq where I got on a Church Av bound G for 3 stops. A ~15 minute walk then landed me in front of Artists and Fleas in Williamsburg. I came here for one thing, and one thing only: (or one person.) KT Ferris. I grabbed two vintage doll eye chokers from her that I've been saving up for for some time now. One with a black velvet band for Joey and one with a gorgeous gold and red band for myself. Joey and I had been thinking about getting matching blinking eye chokers for some time now, and I decided to get her hers as a belated birthday present. Unfortunately, KT herself wasn't there at the time that I went, otherwise I wanted  to have her sign a small "happy birthday" note for my girl. Hopefully Joey doesn't read this before I get the choker to her, but then at least she won't be able to give me crap about not getting her a present yet. Jk love ya Jo. :-P 

Loved how Win's Bloody Mary matched
my outfit. 

Shortly after, I went right back underground, this time taking an L to 14 st. I met my sis (winscribbles) at the Cookshop for brunch. I ordered the french toast with peaches and Winnie got a super yummy eggs/spinach dish with a side of home fries. MMMMMM delicious.

<3 fall lip colors, chokers, and colored hair. 

After eating, we did a little photoshoot near the high line.

I was recovering from a cold and had a cough attack in the middle of the shoot LOL

When we shot enough outfit photos for our liking, we went to artists and fleas in Chelsea Market so I could grab a pair of deer antlers for halloween. I also ended up leaving with a gold lace crown. 

Afterwards, I headed back towards Queens for my endocrinologist appointment (not a fan of my doctor to be honest :/). The appointment was pretty stressful, making me an emotional wreck on an hour long train ride to the Bronx. I met up with my boyfriend to go to his friend's birthday celebration. Honestly, I really didn't want to go. I practically didn't even want to see him. I just wanted to cry in a cafe by myself with a nice cup of tea. (like, I said, I was an emotional wreck). But I'm glad I went. yes, even all the way to the Bronx... Thank you for holding my hand and for loving me, babe. As the party dwindled to an end, my boo took me home via subway, but not before getting Snowdays (which has sentimental value for me, and therefore was one of the best parts of my trip). I got the black sesame, as always, with mochi, strawberries and honey. It was my first time having honey as the glaze instead of caramel or peanut butter, but oh my god, I am so glad I tried it. I'll probably be getting that from now on. My boo got one of their combos, but I forget which one. I believe it was sweet cream, captain crunch (or whatever that cereal is), peanut butter, andddddd I have no idea what that black stuff is. Lol. 

Finally, on Sunday morning, I was headed back to university. My parents drove me back because the bus ticket was insanely expensive. Plus it was a nice time to bond, even though I slept for most of the ride. Still... it felt really homey. Here's my outfit from the ride! 

Town Square Spendings

Hey everyone! Though this will probably only be read by a few people, I hope all is well. :) 

So I'd like to start by apologizing for my inactivity. I really do hope I start blogging more, but sometimes I'm simply too busy being a mess. Lol. 

Anyways, I recently moved out and began my undergraduate career (yay me!). However, my university is kind of in the middle of nowhere. But then I heard someone say that the Walmart nearby is huge, so my friends and I hopped on a city bus and made our way to town square. Little did I know that there was an Ulta (I'll also mention that it's next to a DSW!) in the circle of stores. And so, we did what us girls naturally do; we swatched and shopped all things makeup. I typically don't splurge on random things in a makeup store. (I do spontaneously splurge, but its usually just on one or two things). Rather, the norm for me is to see and swatch items in the store, gather an idea or list of the things I want to buy, and eventually order these things online. As I didn't do that this time, I thought I'd share what I purchased at Ulta. 

 I was so excited to see Benefit's they're Real! mascara in beyond blue. One of my makeup favorites is a bright lash or liner color, especially in my favorite color, blue. I've been using Ciate's lashlights mascara in electric, however, they're not being sold anymore as far as I know, and truth be told, although the color is great, they're at all the best mascara as far as volume and lengthening go. Ciate's lashlights essentially paints color onto the lashes without adding any volume or length at all. Though I have yet to try Benefit's they're Real! in beyond blue, I've used and loved their mascara in rich black. They give great volume and length to my tiny Asian eyelashes, so when I saw it in blue, I grabbed it immediately.  

 

                                                                                     Now this, I'm less excited to talk about. 

First of all, I'll start by saying that I've been using Rimmel London's Scandaleyes in the pen formation for at least a year or two. It's my favorite liquid eyeliner as far as drugstore liners go. When I went to Ulta, they only had the thick & thin form of the eyeliner, but I was running out, so I grabbed it anyways. Big regret. The "brush" is stiff, but also dry, therefore it drags against the skin, which hurts and also doesn't result in a very good look. The formula is hardly black enough for my liking. It lacks pigmentation and requires a lot of force to be applied. This one was simply a no go for me. 

Too Faced is one of my favorite brands, and this the second melted liquified lipstick that I bought. (This one is in the shade melted velvet, and I also have the shade melted fig.) The packaging of these lipsticks are simple, but the gold details are a perfect addition. When I swatched this in the store, it was darker than it was when I swatched it at home. I've been looking to buy a dark red lipstick without too much of a purple undertone, and this seemed to fit the bill when I swatched it in the store. (The first pink streak was accomplished by not squeezing much product of the tube out). I have yet to try this on myself, but I'm hoping it doesn't wear as a very bright red. But even if it doesn't, I have no doubt in my mind that this will be a fantastic color. 

Another lip color that I've been dying to own is a bright purple. I already have two purple lip sticks (both by colourpop), but I can never get enough. I've been borrowing a shade from my sister for a really long time, (it's a Make up Forever lipstick, but I'm not sure what exact shade it is), and I really wanted one of my own. Though there was no Make up Forever section in Ulta, I saw this NYX high voltage purple lip and thought I'd give it a go.